Alex Hilder Celebrant ties the handfasting cords around the hands of a couple at The Lakehouse, Kent
Tying the handfasting cords around the hands of a couple at The Lake House, Kent
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So, can you include religion or references to God or Spirit in your wedding ceremony?

Is there a way of including that Bible reading (that one that your Grandad has read for all your siblings and cousins)

…without compromising yourselves and committing to a wedding in a church…
…even though it doesn’t feel comfortable for either of you?

Because of the way our marriage laws currently are in England and Wales, the choice for your legal marriage is simple: either you have it in a registered religious building according to the rites of that religion or, sadly, it must have no religious or spiritual references whatsoever.

And this suits many couples.

But not everyone’s spiritual life is so cut and dried.

  • Maybe you grew up singing in the church choir but don’t go to church anymore, yet still think there’s ‘something there’?
  • Or maybe one or other of you has a religious cultural heritage that it would feel wrong to leave out of the most important day of your life?
  • Maybe you describe yourself as “a little bit spiritual” or maybe even “full on woo-woo”?

If any of these (and there are many more possible descriptions!) describe either of you and your spiritual lives then, unfortunately, there isn’t currently a way in England and Wales for you to have a legal marriage ceremony that aligns with your beliefs.

(And if this is you, consider clicking here to immerse yourself in the ins and outs of the current debate on wedding law reform and then make your feelings known to your MP… but I digress…!)

But… before you shrug your shoulders sadly and book the registrar to come out to that licensed venue that you’ve fallen in love with, take a breath, pause and realise that there is, in fact, a solution!


“The 3rd Way”…!

“Secret Option No 3”…!

This is precisely the area of expertise of the Independent Celebrant…! In other words, that’s where I come in!

Enter your truly independent celebrant, ready to wave my magic wand over your wedding plans!

What nods to your religion or spirituality would you include?
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What do you need to do to have a wedding with an Independent Celebrant?

The most important thing you have to do is separate the official registration and the ceremonial celebration in your mind.

Think ‘Birth Registration’ and ‘Christening’…

‘Death Registration’ and ‘Funeral’…

It would seem pretty odd to do these at the same time and in the same place!

So, to separate out the official, legal registration from the ceremonial celebration you will need to legally register your marriage separately with a registrar at a short, simple appointment. The quickest and cheapest way to do this is with just two witnesses literally at a Registry ‘Office’ – known as a ‘2+2’ in most areas.

By doing it this way, it means everything else  – every word, every piece of music, every action – can be exactly as you want it to be!

You are free to have a wedding ceremony that reflects YOU both and only you both… and that includes your spirituality!

Bike leaning against signpost
Which way will you go?
Signpost courtesy of Oak Tree Barn Weddings.
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Book a discovery call here today and we can have a chat about what would fit you both! We can start planning ways to include religion or spirituality in your wedding in a way that is totally unique to you!